Thinking about what's to come. ~ Jully

This week is potentially my last official week of Pilates.

We started this journey back in November and now 4 months / 30 sessions later, we've finally arrived to what may be the final week.

Of course this doesn't mean things will stop for me. I'm going to continue to attend pilates at least 1x week, and improve on my running. We have 2 more sessions scheduled with the Nutritionist and possibly an opportunity to work with the Personal trainers from the gym downstairs.

I have really come a long way.
Can't write too much right now, but I've realized the postings have decreased so I'll make an effort to update more often. Trust me, I have Lots to share. As a bonus... here's that picture of me jumping off the cliff in Hawaii.

Here's the latest! ~ Jully

Uh, I actually ran 5 miles on Saturday.
Then, on Sunday... I ran about 5.5 (1.5 on the threadmill for warm up + 4 run from gym to my friend's house) and worked out like I was in the Biggest Loser.
Of course on Monday, I HAD to have a Five Guys ginourmous CheeseBurger and Maggie Moo's ice cream right after.

Regardless, I still feel great and as my friend's kids told me this weekend...
"Aunty Jully, you are still chubby, but a little skinnier. Last time... you were pretty big!"

Oh those kids! So funny.

Yeah, I know what you're talking about ~ Jully

Today was my 23rd session. I missed Thursday's session to visit the lovely city of Chicago for work.
Since I was still recovering from my cold, Virginia took it easy on me (or so she says!), but I still got a pretty full work out. The arms are very hardest part for me right now, making sure I don't raise my shoulders or tighten my neck.
She asked me if the experience was what I expected and I immediately said no. I didn't expect to liking me the way I do now.
She mentioned how much of an improvement she has seen in me, internally and externally. She notices my posture getting better, but also my gradual growth in self confidence.
She's right, I am getting better at being me.

After our workout I went over to the Tenafly Studio to meet with our Nutritionist.
We've already scheduled our next 2 appointments, and she's going to keep an eye on our http://myfitnesspal.com/ updates. We had a very good session.
MaryEllen from the post natal group was there too. She is MUCH smaller than I am, but it was very interesting that we both had the same issues. Keeping up with the workouts and the right eating has been absolutely challenging for all of us. I gave her (really to remind me) a good pep talk. We're back on track!

The reality has been that I haven't lost that much weight in pounds (really, just 5 until now), but my body HAS changed. My clothes actually take shape on my body. HA! shape + body, this would never be 2 words that could have described me in the past.

Well, Happy Valentine's Day! I spent mine with me, and I was suprisingly pleased!
Ah! one more note, I ran 5 miles today. OH yes... CINCO miles!!!

All better now ~ Jully

I've decided to not beat myself up anymore. I will treat each day as a brand new day, a chance to get better and better at being good to me.
I didn't run at all during the weekday, but I had fruits for breakfast (lots of them) and salads for lunch on most days.
I did go running Saturday for 3 miles and another 3 1/4 miles today. I feel good.
At my Thursday weigh in I was at 185lbs and my waist, hips, bust, arms all decreased by at least 1/2 inch. The thighs for some reason went up 1/4 inch. In our Saturday session, we didn't even do the hundreds exercise! We've been getting intoduced to many obliques, shoulder blades, and arm exercises. Pilates continues to be challenging for me. With each exercise, we focus on the body part and evaluate it in detail. We also go over our progress during our sessions. I have to say, we've really come a LONG way.

I am better. I am dressing better, I take care of my hair, clothes, and shoes... just a tid be more than before. I even curl my lashes before I walk out the door.

Better than where I was before.

Why is there a wagon and why do I LEAP off of it! ~ Jully

Last week was a bad one for me. My workout and eating was all out of synch, and the more it was out of synch, the worse it got.

Here's what happened...

I missed a workout and ate a bit more than I should have.
So on the first day, I told myself "oh well, I'll work out tomorrow, and I'll eat better tomorrow"... by that night I was even worse. It was like it was my last opportunity to eat!

Next day comes, of course circumstances lead me to the same path. No workout and bad eating. On this day, I feel even worse, but somehow I can manage to eat just a bit more because I am absolutely sure that I'll be getting back on track the day after.

Yeah, so then next day arrives. There's a SNOW storm! Of course!

By the time the end of the week comes, I'm just overwhelmed with disappointment. I can't stop beating myself over it. I pout, I get angry, I just can't understand how I've let myself go this badly.

On Friday, I went to dinner with my friend. There she asked why I was so unhappy, and why I was beating myself over this. Of course my first instict was to defend myself and assume that she didn't understand. "It's like cigarettes, you quit and when you have that 1 cigarette, you just go for as much as you can, because you know you'll have to quit again, so you over indulge in that moment."

Here's what she told me, "Everyone has bad days too, but they don't beat themselves up for it".

When I started this journey, I told myself 2x per week I would run and up to last week, I kept to it. Now that I skipped that 1 week, I can't seem to be able to forgive myself for it.

Yes, now I realize I have a bigger problem and realistically, it won't be resolved overnight. But me harassing myself for it, won't do any good either.

So if I just think of food as food, then I really wouldn't have a problem. But right now, food is like a drug. I've been going to rehab and I leaped off the wagon at the first chance I had. I hope I can think of food as just food and not as this thing that controls me.

I know it's a sad entry, but I had to share this with everyone.