You're running? No weight change? ~Jully

I've been running 2x/week for the past 2 months and my weight has not decreased, not even 1 pound. I know people don't believe me. I almost think that without my nikeplus gadget, I really have no proof, except for my sweaty clothes. Granted my eating habit hasn't changed dramatically, but I don't eat hamburgers & french fries, actually, most days I have salads for lunch (and no, I don't have it with ranch dressing, cheeses, and any fattening items), I don't snack on sweets and I don't binge. So what could be the problem? My metabolism IS completely shot.

Let's see where this all started, shall we?
When I was in high school, I did slim fast for a few days, tried herbalife (aka shakes for meals), also I did Nutrisystem too (pre-packaged food). I liked Nutrisystem because I didn't have to go anywhere, just ordered the food and just had to eat what was given to me, but I just ended up eating more than I should have. My weight was probably in the mid to high 150's during that time.

While in college, I gave Weight Watchers a shot. It worked while I was committed to it, but it was difficult to go in and get weighed in (and talk about it, too!), work out just for 30 minutes, and keep track of the food. I also attempted to do the Atkins, but was not successful the 1st time around. My weight then was around 160 to 170's.

After college, I bloomed... and eventually reached 194 lbs. At that point, a doctor in Brazil prescribed a medication to suppress the hunger, and in exchange, all I had to do is not drink 2 hours before a meal, during a meal, and 2 hours after a meal. Now, for someone who drinks about a gallon of water with each meal, this was quite difficult, but I did it. I would lose several pounds per day at times, and reached 150lbs. I don't think I stayed there very long, maybe 2 weeks? The drug made me feel like a zombie, and I knew it wasn't something good, but it worked. Eventually, I decided to see if I could maintain the weight without the drugs. I wasn't successful. I gained 1lb here and 2lbs there, and in my mind I was ok with that, because I just wasn't 194 anymore. Before I knew it I reached 160's, then 170's and eventually 180's. But in my head, I really believed that I could always go back to 150, IF I really wanted to.

In my mid 20's I tried Atkins, and it was the perfect diet for me. I would have eggs, cheese, and hamburgers with no bun and no guilt. Within the 2nd day, I would lose 2 lbs. When I followed the plan, I would lose up to 14 lbs after 2 weeks. Of course, I had no idea how to maintain it after those 2 weeks, so i would gain it back, and then go on it to lose it again. In between, I also tried the South Beach diet, I was also a vegetarian for about 4 months, and I may also have tried the cabbage soup diet. Obviously, none of it worked.

In my 30's, I would just laid off the carbs and decreased my salt intake for a few days if I had an event to go to. This was how I managed my weight. The final diet that did it was the Lemonade fast (lemon juice, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup). I managed to not eat anything, but drink the lemonade for 10 full days. I really did feel great during and afterwards. I know it's hard to believe, but I did like it. My mind was clear and knowing that I didn't have to eat, or worry about eating was a great relief. I probably lost about 8lbs on it, BUT ... my body has not been the same since. To know that you can go 10 days without eating did give me a sense of empowerment, but... the weight came back, and before I knew it I was 194lbs again. Of course, my emotional state has gone up and down as the weight has moved up and down. Let's face it, that's really the problem to begin with.

Now, after almost 2 months of pilates and running 2x a week... I've not lost a single pound. So if you EVER wonder what yo-yo dieting can do... think of me. My body has grown tired of me playing with it. No liquids, no meats, no carbs, no eating... I'm not even sure if I can reverse the effects of the past 15 years of abuse, but I'm going to keep trying. It's all I can do.

Session 15 ~Jully

Today was my 15th session.
Virginia spent some quality time with just 'lil o' me.
A lot of her description of me in the studio can interestingly describe my personality outside the studio as well.
- I focus a lot of my concentration in making sure I don't do something wrong, rather than trusting myself.
- I don't really communicate and ask questions even when things seem a bit off, I just think I'm working through it.
- I am a little more confident compared to the 1st session.

Recently, I've been realizing more and more about myself. It could be the age, I could be where I am in life, or it could be what this experience has triggered. So here's what I noticed, I am not as confident as I think I should be. I am pretty afraid of the aspects in life that require taking ANY risks. Oh yeah, lastly, here's what my sister told me this morning, "You REALLY need to learn how to communicate better!".

I did do my run yesterday and I'm planning on going tomorrow too.
The eating hasn't changed much. That's fustrating to you too, right? Somehow I prefer going through 40 minutes of sweat and pain, rather then just eating less.

Ahhh!!! I'll do it! Soon...

Bad weather + Holidays = NOT GOOD! ~Jully

Due to the recent weather and holiday get togethers, I am all out of synch! I haven't been at the track since last Monday (12/15). I did go to the gym on Sunday (12/21), but I wasn't able to do 3 miles on the treadmill. I did 1 mile and my right ankle started to hurt, so I moved to the eliptical machine for 20 minutes. That helped me balance my weight and then I went back to running for another 1 mile. So I tried.

Fortunately, I haven't gain any weight as of yesterday, BUT this may change unless I increase my level of activity ASAP!

Today, the gym is closed, but tomorrow I'll be in there, for sure!

On Monday, I went to a Christmas dinner and although I wasn't all made up with make up and a pretty outfit for the occasion, I felt really happy in my own skin. Our last get together was during 4th of July, and I was in a much worse place then. For that party, my friend had to pratically beg me to come to the party, since the last thing I wanted to do was to socialize. I don't think I'm ready to put myself out there even now, but I was happy and really enjoyed talking to everyone.

Below is a picture of me from October (left), I had my interview with Jessica (owner of JFP Studios) that very weekend, and the one next to it is from Monday (right). The exterior difference is slight, but I kinda like myself a bit better today, then I did then.

About the program, we just had our 14th session yesterday, and will have another one on Saturday. I'm hoping to bring my sister (the photographer of the family) to take some shot of us, so we can share here.

Anyways, Merry Christmas everyone!!! Thank you so much for your continuous encouragement and support. Santa gave me a great gift this year... me!

On a more serious note ~ Jully

This past week was a tough one for me. It was filled with challenges, emotions, and harsh realizations.

But before I get into all that, since I wasn't able to write as of Friday (12/5), here’s a recap from my last 3 sessions:

12/6 Saturday – Session 10
According to Joe (yeah, the one who created Pilates), it takes 10 sessions to “feel” a difference, 20 sessions to “notice” a difference, and 30 to change to shape of your body.
Honestly, I have felt a difference right after the 1st session. As I mentioned in my previous blog entries, I acknowledged my body as soon as I walked out of the studio that first day.
During this session, Shannon and I were very much in synch, flowing from one exercise to the next. Afterwards, I went for my second run of the week, but instead of running in the track, I actually ran over to the Tenafly Studio to surprise Shannon during her workout. I felt really great, even though the scale was still at 188.5lbs. Really, nothing was going to bring me down that day.

12/10 Wednesday – Session 11
The week was pretty tough on me by the time the Wednesday session came along. First, I ran on the coldest night known to mankind (ok, I’m exaggerating, but it really felt that way!), and headed to work where my forearms were still frozen and sensitive to my warm hands. As the week continued on, I just looked forward to my pilates session, and it was great again. Shannon looked really good that day and I was extremely happy for her. I did weigh myself again, and I was at 188lbs. Really, no joke, no change.

12/13 Saturday – Session 12
This session started earlier than usual, since we had to leave to meet our nutritionist. Our reps for the sessions have increased from 4 to about 8 each time. We did a lot of work on the mat and focused on the legs. We then met our Nutritionist and found that I should only consume 1600 calories per day in order to lose 1lb per week. She made it sound like simple math (-500 calories = 1 lb lost). Calories IN - Calories OUT = weight gain or weight loss – oh so simple! Another interesting fact is that because of all the yo-yo dieting for the past 20+ years, my body has shut itself down. This is why I can't lose the weight as fast as I could when I was younger. So after our session with the Nutritionist, I dragged myself to the track to do my run. This was probably the hardest run yet (I know I say that everytime!). By the 2nd lap, I was completely out of breath. It was like I was carrying a 20 lb bag on my back. You can read the below to discover why…

So now, on a more serious note, I swell up when I stress out. When I am challenged with a situation that I feel hopeless about, I turn to food. I don’t it consciously, before I can even realize it, I’ve already satisfied most of my cravings. On a more positive note though, I don’t do drugs, I don’t drink, I don’t hit a punching bag, I don’t cry or scream, I don’t even talk about it… I just eat and find myself in a trance. Actually, I don’t find myself there when it's happening, it’s only days later that I realize why I feel and look so much heavier. To be quite honest, I don’t think I would stop eating even if I knew what was happening. What else can I do to occupy my mind and time?

Some say that admitting that I have a problem is the first step, right?

I'm so excited and I just can't hide it ~Shannon

Hi My Loyal Readers!

The above image is a ticker that will track my progress from http://www.myfitnesspal.com/

The web site is a great tool for those of you who are both tech savvy and looking to lose some weight. Our nutritionist, whom we met with for the first time today, told us about this helpful site. The meeting with the nutritionist was just what I needed. I have been doing Pilates sessions with Jully for a little over a month now, but I needed someone watching my food intake. I have a decent idea of what is good and what is bad for you but our nutritionist, Dr. Z, really laid it all out on the line for us. We had our weight and BMI measured. We calculated the amount of calories necessary each day in order to lose weight, including daily moderate activity. Dr. Z wants us to get a pedometer to keep track of our steps per day which I plan on getting later today. I am curious to see how much I move on a daily basis, aside from added exercise. We also went over WHAT to eat within those allotted calories (mine happens to be approx. 1600). I am really really excited to get this pasrt of my journey started. I feel really blessed by this opportunity. We also had our Saturday a.m. session with Virginia and that went very well too. I am really optimistic about my journey and again, thanks for coming along.

I wanted to show you this picture (that is me on the left with Stephanie Klein) and recommend an awesome book by my absolute favorite author, Stephanie Klein. The name of the book is MOOSE and it is a memoir of Stephanie's experiences in at fat camp. The book is hilarious, yet touching. She speaks from her heart and identifies some of the struggles many adolescent girls face in our society. She also wrote STRAIGHT UP AND DIRTY, another hysterical memoir of her single days in NYC. I am not her personal friend, but she is a great inspiration to all women and a wonderful author. Her blog, Greek Tragedy, is at www.stephanieklein.com

Shannon

Feeling a bit uneasy ~ Jully

Our company's holiday party was last night and because of this, I didn't have the strength to get up this morning for my run.

Maybe the dancing can count as a work out. I danced so much my muscles are aching.

So, I have good news and bad news.
Bad news: At my weigh in, I gained 1 pound... so I'm at 189 lbs.
Good news: I don't feel so bad, because I was able to wear a shirt that I could not wear since last year! So maybe the pounds aren't going away, but the clothes are fitting better.

Is it weird that I'm feeling uneasy about not going running today? I'm going to try to do it tomorrow. Weird... who would have thought this day would come. Me, feeling guilty about missing a day of running. I guess things are changing.

Snowmen and Victoria's Angels ~Shannon

I am back from sickland. And feeling better than ever. I have been working out the past three days, eating well and focusing on changing my habits. We had our Pilates session with Virginia last night at the Tenafly studio. I went early and worked out for an hour- 40 minutes on the treadmill and 20 minutes on the bike. I am taking it pretty easy because I still have a cough, but it feels good to get moving. Our session last night felt good- I was definitely more focused that Saturday. I am feeling stronger and I am starting to notice a difference in my posture. I lost the weight I had gained last week in addition to a half a pound, so that is good. When I got home, I made the mistake of putting on the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. C'MON. Noone looks like that! I am straight as a line, but I watched motionless, with my jaw on the floor, for the entire hour. I don't even know what to say about it except those were some skinny girls with giant ahems. As a middle school teacher, I am sometimes disappointed at what the media glorifies as a sexy woman. It gives girls who are extremely impressionable the wrong idea. I know because I was one of them not too long ago.
Today, after work, I drove over to Metro Golf and Fitness and worked out for about an hour, doing some cardio and some free weights. The one thing I have to remember is that this is not an overnight fix and that it will take some time. I get bummed when the numbers on the scale don't move too much but I have a feeling since I started doing cardio and being careful with my diet this week, things will begin to change. Let's keep our fingers crossed!
I have adopted an extrinsic motivation method as well (teaching terms). Basically, that means working towards rewards. For every 5 pounds, I will reward myself with something cool. I am one and a half pounds away from my first five. And I really hope it happens by Saturday morning because it's a manicure and I really want to get one this weekend (: My next five will be a new top. I have plenty of ideas, believe me.
Did anyone see the singing snowmen at Hallmark this year? They are so freakin funny. It's a little corny but when you press a button the snowmen "dance" and sing a whole song about eating Christmas goodies. After the song, the chubbier snowman says "Uh, what's for dessert?" Funny and apropos. My description does not do the cute little knick-knack justice.

December 1~Shannon

Hi All,
This is going to be short and sweet because I am sick. Like, haven't gotten out of bed all day sick. I started not feeling so hot Saturday night- I always know I am geting a cold when I start uncontrollably sneezing. Needless to say, it developed into a full blown cold. I took off from work today and have absolutely no appetite. Perhaps that is the trick to losing Thanksgiving pounds! I think I will be okay by Wednesday night, so I will write more after that session. So far, I have lost two pounds since the start of the program but plan on really buckling down now that Thanksgiving is over. Our session Saturday morning was good but I did feel a little weaker than usual and not so focused. I now chalk that up to my developing illness. Hope all is well and everyone had a lovely holiday.
Shannon